We all have an Inner Mean Girl
Thursday, August 19, 2010 at 6:02PM I realized recently that anyone can be whatever person they want to be. How simple does that sound? I know, I feel silly writing it even but let's be honest, how many times have you actually thought about that? Here we are raising our children to believe they can do anything they desire or filling them with kindness and good in hopes of sending valuable members of society into the world. Somehow in the time between childhood and adulthood we seem to get stuck with bad habits, misbehaviors and a mental block.
Something I have always been in interested in is relationships between women. As a teenager (and I think this is common) I did not have a group of girlfriends. Instead, I gravitated towards groups of guys. It seemed that girls were catty, always fighting, always lying, always competing, always self centered. Guys were at least straight forward! I definitely carried this mentality into adulthood. The experience I had with girl friendships in high-school did not set me up for success with meaningful friendships into my adulthood. All of my high-school friendships with girls ended with dramatic explosions, terrible fights and generally it was because of a boy.
In the past 7 years especially, I have worked very hard to honor the amazing women I know. I have worked hard to make honest, meaningful connections with amazing women that I respect and love. Part of my journey included mending broken relationships with women from my past, women that were once girls who probably didn't know any better then I did at the time. We really are raised to compete with other women! Something in us sees them as a threat, competition to the gene pool, to the job market, to the being the best woman you could be. In reality women don't have to be any of those things. If it were not for the handful of amazing women in my life, I would not be where I am today.
So, recently when a fight broke out with another "mom blogger" and myself, I definitely caught myself reverting to my first instinct, attack and defend. When I took a breath and realized what was happening, realized all the work I had put into not being that person, I stopped engaging the behavior of the other person. I ask myself, what would I want my daughter to do? That is how I too should act. So, even though I was verbally attacked and harassed for the good part of an entire day, despite my silence, I refused to attack back or defend. Not as a sign of weakness or defeat, but as an unwillingness to revert to bad behaviors.
You know, even when you know that each and every stone someone throws at you, is made of air, they still hurt. When someone attacks the way you gave birth to your child, your spirituality, your business, your writing, all that you work so hard for, those things make you question yourself. I am lucky to have really great women in my life, women that know me not just from the internet or my blog, but in real life friends. Women that have known me for 25, 15, 10, 5 years. True friends who were able to ground me, that is how I was able to make it through that time.
Then, as if it could not have been by chance alone, I happened upon the Mean Girl Cleanse. A 40 day inner Mean Girl Cleanse. During the 40 days a panel of experts and bloggers would shift six habits that are weighing you down. Release bad habits that block deeper female connections. Pick up and strengthen habits that fuel you instead of drain you. Seriously, could there be a bigger banner shouting this is what I need, right now is the moment.
So, there it is. I am taking part. I will be blogging about the feelings, the steps and hopefully the changes that take place over the next 40 days. I am looking forward to the Inner Mean Girl Cleanse because I feel like I have come so far on my own already, the next step is awaiting!
I hope that I can pass some of the things I learn onto all of you!
My Inner Mean Girl Cleanse begins next week, August 25!
Reader Comments (3)
I'm looking forward to passing some of the things I have learned on you! So excited for you to be joining the 40-Day Inner Mean Girl Cleanse. We think you'll find it to be fun and powerful!
great post! I am also in the IMG Cleanse, and I am following you!
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