If we were to do a survey, asking working moms if this is what they had in mind when they’d been fighting for independence, most of them would probably give you such a strong NO that the ground would shake. However, women be women – they’ll always find ways to make things work (no matter how exhausted, sick, bored or pissed off they are), and this time around is no different.
Naturally, we won’t deny the fact that juggling it all – your job, career, house, kids, a healthy diet, the home budget, your husband, the in-laws, your social life – is so freaking hard but we’ll cope.
Here, a few tips we’ve singled out to help all of you amazing working moms out there get yourself in shape again (both mentally and physically), adopt some health resolutions and stay in good spirits:
Stop trying to organize everything
You’re not a Swiss clock nor you are service planner; you weren’t born into a role of an organizer. You are human, you’ll be late, make mistakes, fail and forget to do things (especially with so many chores around) – and that’s okay! While you love your kids more than you love yourself (this one goes without saying), it’s not up to you to be on top of all the house, work and family schedules.
If your kids are demanding something is done, ask them to make drafts of suggestions you’ll take into consideration. For instance – they’re asking to go to their grandparents for the weekend, visit the zoo, eat ice-cream in their favorite parlor (which is miles away from both the zoo and the grandparents), and be home in time for the playdate with their neighbors. Great. Make it their chore to organize everything by time and logic and accept the best option offered (you are allowed to modify it and adapt it, obviously). If they’re old enough to demand it, they are old enough to organize it, too. Right? Right.
Leave your kids (and the stories about them) at home
Moms have this genetic curse of thinking (and talking!) about their kids constantly. While that may be cute to your best friend, your mom and your reflection in the mirror, others aren’t really that much into it. They’ll love hearing the teething story once but the fifth time this tale is on the menu – they’ll just get up and leave.
The more you obsess, the harder it is. Instead of bringing your kids to work (mentally), leave them at home or in the kindergarten where you’d actually left them a few hours ago. Focusing on your work will be an amazing mental flossing session, a reminder you’re a grownup, not a Barbie queen. Engage in adult conversations that have nothing to do with playdates, formulas, strollers and first words. Be a grownup, it’ll do you good.
Be selfish, if that’s what it takes
Once they have kids, moms let their kids’ lives become their own; before they know it, they’ve said their names 500 times a day more than they’ve said their own, and it’s exhausting.
Remember to love yourself again and put yourself first for a second: work it out with your partner to take over family duties while you have some time for yourself in a day. Whether you’ll be sleeping, going for pampering sessions (or staying in, more and more women are opting for a mobile massage in Sydney, as they can enjoy a nice rejuvenating session without leaving the comfort of their homes), doing yoga or going for a run – it’s up to you. As long as you’re doing something that’s making your soul sing. They’ll call it selfish, we’ll call it survival.
Bring on disappointment, it’s okay
Disappointment never hurts as much as we think it will; furthermore, the way we imagine it in terms of its intensity is far more painful than the reality. With this in mind, it’s important you talk to your kids (and husband) about what they are to expect. They need to know that, despite the fact their mom would go to the Moon and back for them, she’s just human and she’ll sometimes fail. They also need to know that that’s just fine. Accepting you with a flaw here and there will help them accept their own failures one day. It’s all about the approach – and, as long you’ve got a healthy one, you’ll be fine.
Stressed out and mentally and physically exhausted you’ll be good to no one (yourself, especially) so give yourself the permission to ease things up a bit. You’ll blossom.